Let’s face it — with all the financial “gurus” on the internet trying to shove budgeting, investing, and emergency funds down your throat, sometimes you just want advice from someone a little more… relatable. Enter: Your Broke Best Friend™.
Yes, the one who once tried to buy AirPods on credit while also owing money to five different people. That’s the real financial advisor we all need. Forget Warren Buffett — your friend Kwame knows what’s up. And here’s why you should trust him with your financial future.
1. They Have Experience… in Debt
Would you rather learn about lions from someone who’s read about them, or someone who’s been chased by one?
Exactly.
Your friend isn’t just reading about financial struggles — they’re living the sequel. Who better to guide you than someone who’s already deep in the pit? They know every loan app, how to dodge creditors, and the precise hour banks stop calling.
That’s real-world knowledge, baby.
2. They Can Teach You the Art of “Managing” Credit
By “managing,” we mean applying for new loans to pay off old ones. It’s like a financially irresponsible magic trick. Your friend has mastered the ancient art of rotating debt — juggling six different credit cards while still finding ₵400 for weekend vibes.
They don’t have a budget, they have vibes. And somehow, they’re still here. That’s resilience.
3. They’re a Pro at Escaping Rent Without Moving Out
How do they still live in that 2-bedroom apartment when they haven’t paid rent in three months? No one knows. Not even the landlord. But that level of financial camouflage is elite. If they can survive rent debt, surely they can guide you through your little “I spent too much on delivery” problem.
4. They Understand “Broke Priorities”
Some might judge your decision to order ₵700 worth of food on Bolt Food when you have ₵230 left for the week. Not your friend.
They’ll cheer you on.
In fact, they’ll probably help you split it. Because what’s more important — eating rice and stew for the third day in a row, or trying that new Korean BBQ spot on Instagram?
5. They Speak Fluent Excusonomics™
When you tell them you “accidentally” maxed out your card again, they won’t judge — they’ll say, “Same.”
They won’t ask why you don’t have savings. They’ll just nod solemnly and say, “The system is broken.” It’s never your fault. It’s always capitalism, your zodiac sign, or vibes. They understand your struggle, and more importantly, they’ll help you avoid accountability.
Now that’s a friend.
6. They’re the Real MVP of Get-Rich-Quick Schemes
From sports betting to “crypto opportunities” with names like CoinZillaX, your friend is a walking catalogue of financial innovation.
Did they lose ₵2,000 to that guy on Telegram who promised to double it? Yes.
Did they learn from it? Absolutely not.
Will they convince you to try it too? You bet.
Because nothing screams “trusted financial planner” like someone who thinks Scratch Cards are a retirement plan.
7. They’re Humble (Because They Literally Can’t Afford Pride)
You’ll never see them brag about stock portfolios or retirement plans. Not because they don’t want to — but because they don’t have any. That kind of brutal honesty? Rare.
They won’t blind you with spreadsheets. They’ll just whisper those magic words:
“Chale, if e hard you, I get this guy wey fit help you get quick loan.”
Instant credibility.
8. They Make You Feel Better About Your Own Mess
Feeling guilty because you overspent this month? Spend five minutes talking to your debt-ridden friend and suddenly, you’re a financial genius.
Nothing boosts your confidence like hearing them say, “Wait, you actually pay your electricity bill on time?”
Thank you, Financial Therapist™.
Final Thoughts
Financial advisors may give you stability, but your broke friend gives you stories. You won’t learn about compound interest, but you will learn how to stretch ₵80 for 11 days, how to avoid momo fraud, and how to buy time with a landlord using sheer confidence.
And in the end, isn’t that what true financial wisdom looks like?
So go ahead — cancel that meeting with your bank. Slide into your friend’s DM instead. They’re waiting, debt and all, ready to guide you… straight into chaos.