Welcome to the 21st century, where you can be whoever you want online—especially if you’re not that person in real life. Tired of your regular, rent-paying, laundry-folding existence? Want to appear like you’re sipping green juice in Bali while you’re actually microwaving leftovers in sweatpants? Perfect. This guide is for you.
Let’s teach you how to fake your best life like a seasoned digital illusionist. Because who needs actual experiences when you have filters, hashtags, and a painfully curated grid?
Step 1: Your Life Is Boring—Your Grid Doesn’t Have to Be
Let’s face it: your real life is 90% charging your phone and 10% Googling if you can microwave aluminum foil. But no one has to know that.
On Instagram, your life should look like:
- You wake up in a sun-drenched bedroom with billowing white curtains.
- You do yoga (you don’t).
- You eat smoothie bowls with ingredients you’ve never actually purchased.
- You read books with titles you can’t pronounce.
- You vacation monthly even though your bank account screams, “Stay home.”
Remember: it’s not about doing, it’s about posting.
Step 2: The Photoshoot That Wasn’t
The key to looking like you live a magical, Pinterest-worthy life is a little something called batch content creation. What does that mean? One outfit, one location, 57 angles. Now you have content for the next two months.
Pro tips:
- Go to a café. Order the cheapest thing on the menu. Pose like it’s your second home.
- Stand near a pool, any pool. You don’t have to swim. Just wear sunglasses and stare dramatically into the distance.
- Sit on your bed with a laptop, coffee, and fairy lights. Caption it: “Working on something special 💻☕✨” (Even if you’re just rewatching The Office.)
Boom. Productivity aesthetic: unlocked.
Step 3: Inspirational Captions That Inspire Absolutely No One
Nobody wants authenticity. They want vague poetic nonsense that sounds profound but means nothing. Try:
- “Chasing sunsets and dreams 🌅💭”
- “Inhale confidence, exhale doubt 💫”
- “Doing me, unapologetically 💋”
- “Creating my own sunshine ☀️ #blessed #manifesting”
If you must be deep, quote someone. Any dead philosopher will do. Or better yet—misquote them. Who’s checking?
Step 4: Filters, Presets, and Editing Like a Lying Magician
Your camera might tell the truth, but Instagram shouldn’t. Use presets that turn your sad bowl of instant noodles into a five-star vegan masterpiece.
Tools of the trade:
- Lightroom presets that make every photo look like it was taken in Greece.
- Facetune for when you want to pretend your jawline exists.
- VSCO for that moody, mysterious “I’m interesting” vibe.
- Blur the background. You’re the focus. Always.
Remember: nobody likes reality. Edit it until it looks nothing like you or your life.
Step 5: Post “Candid” Moments You Took 46 Times
There’s no such thing as a true candid on Instagram. That “caught off guard” laugh? You rehearsed it like you were auditioning for a toothpaste ad.
Best fake-candid ideas:
- Laughing with a fork halfway to your mouth (don’t eat it, just pose with it).
- Gazing out a window like you’re contemplating the meaning of life.
- Walking away from the camera with a hat in hand, because #wanderlust.
Truth: You’ve never wandered farther than your local grocery store. But mystery sells.
Step 6: Pretend You’re “Offline” While Refreshing Likes
Don’t post and ghost—post and obsess. But publicly, act like you’re above it all.
Caption ideas:
- “Needed this detox 🌿 Unplugged and recharged.”
- “Been so present lately, haven’t even checked IG 😌”
- “Just living in the moment ✨ #offlinevibes”
Meanwhile, your screen time is 11 hours and you’ve checked who liked your photo 37 times.
Step 7: Hashtags That Mean Nothing but Get Likes Anyway
Use hashtags like you’re trying to win the lottery of attention. Try:
- #LiveAuthentic (while absolutely not living authentically)
- #GratefulHeart (you cried 20 minutes ago but it’s fine)
- #DreamChaser (you’re chasing WiFi signals but sure)
- #TravelGoals (tagged on a photo taken two years ago on a school trip)
Mix it with location tags from places you visited once—just enough to confuse people about whether you’re still there.
Step 8: Invent a “Brand” That Doesn’t Exist
You’re not just posting. You’re building a brand. Even if that brand is literally just…you pretending to read books and drink overpriced coffee.
Give yourself a niche:
- “Minimalist plant-based introvert” (you like chicken and clutter but it’s fine).
- “Digital nomad living her best life” (from your childhood bedroom).
- “Lifestyle curator” (what does this even mean? Nobody knows).
Throw in a few Canva-made story highlight covers and suddenly you’re a “content creator.”
Final Words: Fake It Like You Mean It
Instagram is not for living—it’s for curating. So take your actual life, give it a digital nose job, sprinkle some filters, add a philosophical caption, and watch those likes roll in.
And if someone dares call you out? Just say you’re manifesting.
Now go forth and deceive beautifully, darling. The ‘Gram isn’t going to glam itself.