Let’s be honest — saving money is hard, boring, and worst of all, it requires self-control. And who has time for that when there are flash sales, delivery apps, and subscription trials that somehow never cancel themselves?
But fear not. With a few creative tricks, you too can join the elite class of people who proudly say they’re saving money without ever having to, you know, actually save anything.
Strap in. Let’s master the delicate art of saving money without saving money.
1. Tell People You’re “Budgeting” — Then Immediately Buy Something
The first rule of pretend-saving? Announce it. Loudly.
Tell your friends you’re “on a budget” right before you order food because “you didn’t feel like cooking.” Make it known that you’re cutting back, preferably while sipping that ₵60 artisanal smoothie. Remember, if you say it enough times, it becomes emotionally true — even if your bank balance says otherwise.
Bonus tip: use terms like “intentional spending” to justify your ₵400 online shopping cart.
2. Hide Money from Yourself… But Not Really
This one’s genius. Transfer ₵50 to your mobile wallet and pretend it doesn’t exist. Until Friday. Then spend it like it’s free money.
Better yet, label the account “Do Not Touch.” That way, when you inevitably touch it, you can blame the weak security settings and not your lack of willpower.
You’re not undisciplined — you’re just “responding to unforeseen circumstances.” Like your cravings.
3. Sign Up for Every “Cashback” Scheme Imaginable
Nothing screams financial wizard like joining 11 different cashback programs that give you ₵0.38 for every ₵100 you spend.
Yes, you’re spending ₵700 on things you don’t need, but hey — look at all the ₵2.24 you “saved.” That’s practically interest income.
Pro tip: screenshot your ₵4 reward and share it online with a caption like “winning.” That way, everyone will think you’re financially enlightened while you cry softly into your overdraft.
4. Convince Yourself That Not Spending Is the Same as Saving
Here’s the logic: If you wanted to buy something but didn’t, then you saved that amount.
Didn’t buy those ₵950 headphones? Congrats, you just “saved” ₵950! Never mind that the ₵950 was never in your account to begin with.
Keep a mental list of everything you didn’t buy, then reward yourself by spending real money on something else — because, you know, balance.
5. Invest in “Future You” by Swiping Today
Sure, you’re using credit. But technically, Future You is going to deal with that. So it’s basically investment planning.
Need ₵300 sneakers today? Charge it. Your future self will magically have more money and better financial habits. Definitely. For sure.
It’s not debt — it’s deferred abundance.
6. Confuse Cheap with Value
Why buy a ₵180 blender that works when you can buy a ₵50 one that dies after 6 days and starts a small electrical fire?
Smart saving is all about appearing frugal while spending more in the long run. Because buying cheap things over and over is a great way to burn money slowly and inefficiently, like a true professional.
7. Use “Buy Now, Cry Later” Schemes
Installment plans are your best friend. Why pay for something in one go when you can torture yourself over 3 easy payments?
This way, you can stretch your financial suffering over multiple months — which feels just like saving if you squint hard enough.
Also: if it’s on sale, it’s basically free. ₵100 off? You just MADE ₵100. That’s finance math. Don’t argue.
8. Say You’re “Cutting Back” — Just Not on Anything That Matters
Say things like, “I’ve stopped eating out,” as you place your third delivery order this week.
Or, “I don’t buy clothes anymore,” right before you casually drop ₵600 on skincare and “self-care essentials.” Saving is all about rebranding your spending, not reducing it.
If you’re feeling guilty, just whisper, “It’s for my mental health.” Boom. Guilt gone. Receipt shredded.
9. Follow Every Finance Page but Apply Nothing
You watch all the YouTube videos. You follow 14 personal finance TikTokers. You even downloaded an expense tracker app.
Did you open it? No.
Did you apply any tips? Absolutely not.
But hey — you’re aware, and awareness is the first step to pretending you’re doing something.
10. Blame the Economy for Literally Everything
Too broke to save? Not your fault. Blame inflation. Or capitalism. Or Elon Musk. Or vibes.
Externalizing your financial chaos is crucial to this entire strategy. The rent is high, groceries are expensive, and you’re underpaid — clearly, saving money is impossible, so why even try?
Say things like, “The system isn’t built for people like me,” and spend guilt-free.
Final Thoughts (That Won’t Help You Save Either)
Saving money sounds great in theory — but who has the time when life keeps happening? Instead of doing the hard stuff like tracking expenses or building an emergency fund, just look like you’re trying, speak in budgeting buzzwords, and make vague plans for “next month.”
In the meantime, you can rest easy knowing you’re not alone. Millions of people are also “saving money” the exact same way you are — by not saving any.